I am weak of late. Sure, there was a bout with an actual illness. Fires in the local area caused sinus pressure that caused insomnia that caused sinus infection that resulted in three days of drifty drousing. But more than that there has been a complete lack of focus in the things that I have been doing.
As they say, out of danger, out of work.
I'm not sure anyone says that. But someone should. It is so much easier to get on and about life and the important things in life when you feel pressured and afraid of what will happen if you don't. But eventually you will lose focus and start doing whatever to pass the time and fill the void in your life left by not spending nearly enough time doing what is important.
As always I know in my head and in my heart what I want and the path I must take to get there. Which in no way stops me from taking the wrong and stupid paths because it is late, and I am tired.
I harp on people being too weak and simple for their, or anyone else's, good rather often. But for all that bravado and nay saying I am aware that it takes too much effort to be anything but. And I will not fault people for being unable to keep up the effort necessary to be decent.
It isn't just exhausting but outright haunting.
And to sleep one must be free of worry, and to be truly awake one must be constantly full of it. So we cycle daily between having the energy to make a difference and being too beaten down to care.
And I'm not sure we could function any other way.
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