Always be true to yourself.
It is a simple phrase and one that has been uttered a few million billion times by this point. It comes in different flavors and dialects depending on the day, but the message is carried through the same way, piss poorly unless you are the one saying it.
And you will say it, usually after you have accepted it as fact and are trying to pass it along to the next person, who, like you, will ignore it until suddenly it becomes a thing of Truth.
A Thing of Truth. A beast with an identity and a meaning so far outside of the simplicity of words and communication that it looms and thunders as it is said. Internally, usually, nothing changes much in the face of the general rest of the world, but internally the resounding ring can last for minutes to hours.
Always be true to yourself. Be who you are. Do what you do. Don't deny the world your extra greatness. All of that.
I have spent most of the day in a slump, unable to properly focus, eating and shitting and drinking the day away hour after torturous hour, wondering why it was that I could have a whole day and feel no use for it. Of course, in that, I was terrified of the idea of tomorrow and as tomorrow looms only a few minutes in front of me I am finally at a sense of peace and excitement, soon it will be a new day and I will tackle it at the knees in a display of poor sportsmanship and avant gesticulation.
That's just who I am now.
But as for today and its many and varied horrors, to thy own self be true. I did not write first thing in the morning. I gave myself a pass, thinking I was being nice, thinking I needed the break. I shot myself in the metaphorical foot. I don't write to work, I do not write to live. I live to write. I am not actually getting anywhere, not actually moving through the day until I write.
That's just who I am now.
No comments:
Post a Comment