Beware the discovery of lack. Beware the idle time you create for yourself that leaves you able to see what was not there. Beware what you will do to yourself, to your life, to others to fill that sudden and deep void.
I warn you about these things even as I plummet. I should have known not to open it up. Should have seen the signs.
Should write less cryptically.
I eschew that everyone needs a perfect person in their life. Some other of some significance that gives life meaning. Drivel. But everyone needs others. Non-descript others that we will hang significance upon at whim. We are never certain where they enter and we mourn their passing and bemoan their exits from the scene. We are sentimental and we need to make everything mean something.
Everything already has an inherent meaning. A meaning that does bend to the whim of positive or negative thinking. But we can invest a lot of ourselves into the possibilities and the certainties (presumed) and we can dash ourselves upon the rocks of hope.
Buddhism expresses a need to purge hope. Which is a form of mistranslation. They are not anti-hope. They are anti-miserable-unstoppable-unattainable-want. To hope is to believe that tomorrow holds something worth working towards, worth staying alive for, worth being around to see. AMUUW (I'm not typing the hyphenated phrase another 10 times) is about greed and a refusal to accept. It is selfish and beyond reason and has no place in a world or a society. AMUUW is a sense of entitlement. And we all know what happens when you give in to a sense of entitlement.
So, for my life I have found myself suddenly remembering what it is to have something outside of my solipsistic nonsense. To see myself through the eyes of another. To think of myself not as a single unit against the world but as a part of a continuum and a whole.
As one person might have put it, a circle. But I'm going to continue to be angry at her and declare circles a bad philosophy without a concrete vector or any sense of temporal space. Fie on them!
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